8 Things I Learned Whilst Being On My Own

#5. You can either get stuck in your thoughts or dance to their rhythm.

Woman in black dress laying down next to purple sky, and holding onto a moon shaped silver balloon
Woman in black dress laying down next to purple sky, and holding onto a moon shaped silver balloon
Photo by Nojan Namdar on Unsplash

The first time I tried to be alone — it was hell.

I mean, there was nothing or no one to distract me from my thoughts.

It wasn’t till years later — I realized that being alone — was one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever had.

Here’s why:

When you’re outside around a crowd — it’s normal to want to fit in…

But you don’t have that pressure when you’re alone.

You can wake up, do whatever you want — without fearing judgment.

So when it’s time to face the world, you remember how empowered you felt — by simply being you.

When there’s no one telling you how to run your life, you quickly realize your habits — the good, and the bad.

On weekends, when I didn’t have work, I used to get stuck into binge-watching mindless tv shows — that did nothing but stress me out.

So I thought, okay if I want to be a couch potato today, I should put something on that would benefit my mind, body, and soul.

I switched it up, watched a bit of yoga, and found it helped my back pain too.

I read books that challenged my way of thinking about the world.

I watched and read about self-healing practices…

And although I still spend most of my time indoors — I’m a lot more disciplined with how time is spent.

Think about the small changes you can make in your day — they will eventually become your daily habits.

When we hang out with others, we don’t get the time to sit down and reflect on what it is we truly want in life.

Our family, friends, and the kindest of strangers will provide us with advice — but that doesn’t always mean they are all right.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, the right kind of advice can be powerful, and feedback can be really beneficial— but we should never be directed to a path that isn’t true to ourselves.

Take what resonates.

And think…if you had a golden key to do anything you wanted — what would you do?

Your trip for the day isn’t in the hands of a group or another person— you’re the driver, and you’re in control.

So what destination will you choose?

Look, it’s great to sit there and think, but your thoughts aren’t going to change the past, are they?

What is the point of dwelling on events that have already happened — or have not even happened yet…

By all means, release any suppressed emotions, thoughts, or energies.

Cry if you need to.

But don’t get stuck.

Think about it — if you have the power to put your mind into a depressed state, then you also have the power to put your mind into a positive state.

So put on your favorite song — sing, dance if you have to — and remember that you, and only you — are in control of your mind.

If you’re not doing something you’re passionate about in your own time — of course, you’re going to get bored.

I used to be totally guilty of this. I used to get into the habit of endlessly watching movies or YouTube videos when I was bored.

That was until I realized I had a passion for writing. And suddenly, I craved any time I could get to write alone…

My boredom became nonexistent.

If you’re not sure what to do — write a list of top 5 things you would do right now.

Then don’t overthink or plan — just do it. You’ll see you’ll naturally get into a flow…

I mean, you are doing something you love, right?

When you’re away from the noise of the world — it’s the simple things that make you appreciate the world you’re in.

Whether that’s the warmth of the summer sun, the softness of the sand, the smell of the salty sea — or the blissful snowflakes falling on your nose.

You suddenly are reminded of how beautiful the world is around you.

It’s hard to know who you are when you’re constantly trying to fit in with the crowd.

I mean, I’m all about having a sense of community, but I’ve found in past relationships/friendships — I’ve lost myself, my values, and morals — just so there was a sense of peace in the relationships.

It was only when I started to spend more time alone — that I could reflect on my life, what I wanted, and who I was in this world.

You pick this up by observing what it is you do in your spare time — or what you do when no one’s looking.

So whenever you get the chance — take yourself on an adventure — and find the beauty that is waiting to blossom within you.


Writer, Poet, She-Wolf—sandraszubertmedium@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store